jesus
Today I slept late because I could, and wandered downstairs at around noon. I was wearing a tank top and underpants, and had just hauled an overflowing basket of laundry downstairs and out it in the wash.
I had a crashing headache and as I collapsed on the couch I heard a light knock on the door, I hate people coming by unnanounced, and hate answering the door even more, so I kept really quiet and ignored it.
But the quiet knocks didn't go away and I started to think it was some of my friends, who I was going to a gala with later on that night. And, the door was unlocked and being my friends I thought that they might come in and yell for me (knowing how late i sleep) and there I would be, standing in my living room in my underwear. Ratty, holey pink underwear no less.
So I grabbed an old green towel that I had in front of the fire to kneel on whilst stoking, and wrapped it around me and went to answer the door. It was two Jehova's Witness men whom I had spoken to earlier in the summer and because I have no spine I had told them I would read their literature when they came back.
This time however, they asked for a woman named Val and I lied and said she wasn't here. They asked to leave some more brightly coloured pamphlets and as I opened the screen door to gram them, big Gus finally clued in to the fact that there were people at the door. He bounded over barking in full protection-mode and sort of leaned against the door. I panicked because I didn't want him to go out and have to vhase him around in my towel so I grabbed the door handle and shut it tightly.
on his paw.
Gus started screaming and crying and for a few long seconds I didn't understand why, until I looked down and saw his paw wedged in the door. I opened the door with one hand and went to pull his paw out with the other and my towl fell down.
Exposing my ratty pink underwear to the Jehova's Witness men.
Flustered and frustrated and feeling terribly for Gus I screamed "oh just FUCK OFF already!!" and slammed the door in their faces.
And that was how I started my day. I don't think they'll be back.





